December 13, 2002

Dear Diary,

So I stayed up 'til 4:30 in the morning last night playing Tetris.

I decided that I wouldn't go to bed till I got onto my High Score Board and that is trickier than it sounds. You see, the score on my Tetris program will roll over after you reach 32,768 points your score becomes negative so if you are REALLY good you can end up with a score like -50,243 which is really 83,011 but good luck getting anyone to believe you because the High Score Board doesn't save negative numbers!

So the key to getting a high score is to try and get as close to 32,768 without going over.

Foolishly I make this pact with myself that I won't go to bed until I got on the High Score Table. It soon turned into a version of some sort of sick twisted drinking game because the later it got the sleepier I got and the harder it became to play. After 5 hours of playing I finally achieved some sort of drooling state of Zen-like focus and managed to accomplish my goal and as I looked over at the clock and saw the fluorescent green numbers taunting me I suddenly realized what a sad husk my life has become! But I can say this: I may have no life whatsoever, but GOD DAMN!!! I am GOOD at TETRIS!!!

It's not much to brag about, but as Wilt Chamberlain changed the face of basketball, Michael Newman is changing the face of Tetris! If Tetris were a sport I would have a multi-million dollar contract and my own line of Nike Keyboards. All I could think is, "Man, if only I could do ANYTHING ELSE as good as I play Tetris! My god if I was as good at Kung Fu or Guitar as I am at Tetris…" I keep maintaining this fantasy that chicks think that nothing is hotter than a guy who is REALLY good at Tetris. "Ooooh, nothing turns me on more than a guy who gives it to spatial relationships doggie style!" Jeez Diary, I really need a nap. I didn't sleep very well last night. I kept having feverish dreams about blocks falling from the sky. Nitey nite Diary. See you in the morning.

MN